Long Daddystance Relationship

Papa, as strange as it sounds, the only one thing  that I'm trying to understand the most is why I  am so weak. Yes, your daughter is not as strong as you think she is. But I'm not writing this because I want to complain. I'm writing because I think one of us has to at least share our honest feelings to shatter the wall of silence that is keeping us clueless. At least for me. Even it makes me crying.

I really want to back to be the daughter you loved the most, before the times removed all the innocence. I miss playing songs with you in Sunday after church, accompanying you to come to your favorite restaurant. Just two of us until mama found out we were eating out. You always kept complaining on my writings and I hated it. But yeah, I admit that you were the one who has completely made me loving English so much. No single joy could ever replace that moment. I miss you, Pa. I really want to see you!!!!! I know I must be thankful for all the things happened. They happened for reasons as you said. But................... If the death is a choice, you would choice to rear me, wouldn't it? 

Papa, your little heart are needing you right now. I envy with my next door. Their family support them all the time not for the time being. Giving compliment even for their hiding naughtiness. Look at me! I even never get a call from brothers and sisters and mom. Should I keep dreaming that someday they will?

Is it too much to ask to God to send back the only man I love? Although just for one day to feel your warm hug again, to share the unspoken shits again, to pit about those who have bothered me, to listen to the advice and to obey it, to remind me that you never really went away. Even after 8 years, your love will never drained. And I also love you very very much.